Thursday Thirteen: Smells like Teen Spirit

13 Things I Love to Smell.

Yeah, I think I have done this before, but who knows; maybe they've changed.

I love the smell of books, and I fervently hope someone comes out with a chemical air freshener that would release that aroma from an electronic reader before all the literature goes paper-free, or I might not be able to be happy on this planet anymore.

I love the smell of freshly cut grass. Ironically, I am somewhat allergic to the clouds of discarded grass that get tossed into the air upon mowing the lawn. But the undeniable smell of cut grass conjures up images of Slip-n-Slides and long tree-climbing sessions as a child. Ain't nostalgia grand?

I am a grown woman, or so that freaking AARP notice I got in the mail tells me, but the smell of crayons still equals the smell of potential pictures of EVERYTHING to me. I actually pity small children who have been given digital cameras.

The aroma of grilling meat, preferably beef, is probably the main reason I could never be a vegetarian. Even if they come out with a soy substitute that has the right flavor and texture, I doubt they're going to be able to duplicate that smell.

I still like the smell of cigarettes, even though I have been quit longer than some of the self-righteous twits who tell smokers they can't stand that smell anymore (and some of those same twits start smoking again, so I guess the smell doesn't bother them all that much after all). I also like the smell of a pipe, and some cigars. Not all cigars. Some cigars, they look like poop sticking out of the smoker's mouth, and we should consider that a warning.

It pisses me off that I can't find a grown-up shampoo that does what I need for my own hair that has that same smell as Johnson's Baby Shampoo. I think back to when the punks were little and had that sweet baby smell and not the puky, nasty, dirty, little boy smell.

I found a huge industrial strength bottle of Pinesol for extremely cheap, and it smells like pine. It is the only incentive I have for mopping, which I hate to do, but it's worth it to walk into the house and inhale that fragrance.

The Red Velvet Bakery smells like cupcakes. I walk in there and the vanilla-y buttercreamosity automatically makes me feel like I'm six and it's my birthday. I also think about a study I read about men loving the smell of baked goods. Do you think if I smeared cake batter all over me, just before a date, I could find a decent man? Scratch that, he'd probably end up looking like jabba the hut.

My Dead Sea moisturizer smells like passion fruit. I know that passion fruit refers to the Passion of the Christ and not sexual passion, but I still giggle when I hear the word "passion fruit," because I'm immature. As if you couldn't tell from the cupcake thing. Anyway, I do like that scent an awful lot, even though it usually gets covered up by whatever perfume I choose that day.

Speaking of perfume, my signature scent, assuming I can afford to have one, is Chanel No. 5. Very Irresistible, which kind of sucks, because a) it's expensive and b) I can't usually justify buying it. But I pretend I'm Trisha Yearwood when I'm wearing it, which is a lot of fun because I don't sing out loud often. Probably more fun than actually being Trisha Yearwood . I know it's crazy but has something to do with that visible spark between her and her husband Garth Brooks.

Coming home from the barn and smelling like horses, hay, and feed is one of my favorites. It is probably in the top 3, if I had to designate a numeral rating to any of them...but I won't do that. We'll just ballpark it here, folks. Anyway. Specifically, I love the smell of horses when they're outside and you lean up against them and love on them, patting them and watching dust fly. There is something about the way a horse smells that makes this world a better place.

I love the smell of my salon. Hair color, perms, nail polish, and shampoo, in no particular order. It reminds me that I have a job that I am good at and that I love. I also think about the fact that what I do makes people feel good about themselves and lets them feel attractive and take pride in their appearance.

Fresh popcorn smells like a movie you haven't seen yet, and the possibilities are endless. Unfortunately, the popcorn scent is fleeting, so the movie better live up to its potential or I'm going to feel so hosed. Rather like life, I'm starting to notice.

I think that's thirteen. I guess, under the circumstances, it's time for me to crack open a Dr. Pepper and drink some elixir of life ( I also love that smell!), get in the shower (my body wash smells delicious!), and cook the punks breakfast (doesn't bacon frying smell great?).

I would love to know what are some of your favorite smells......